Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow 

5 days before the Big Chop

Yesterday, we took The Boy to the barbers and cut of all his hair. I’d asked his dad the night before and he reluctantly agreed. 

I thought I was ready for the “Big Chop” but when I found myself crying uncontrollably in the barbershop, it was clear that I wasn’t ready. I cried several more times throughout the rest of the day when we got home. 

Why did I take such a drastic and upsetting step? In truth, I had gotten fed up of being interrogated about my son’s hair. For every one person who complimented his hair, three more asked me disdainfully “what I was doing with it?” Not forgetting the helpful ones who pointed out that if I had a daughter, she may not have the “same hair” as him. (Because they could see into the future.) 

17 days old

My Little Man was born with a lot hair. So much so that it caused issues during his delivery (story for another day). I started using olive oil on it from birth. He got  cradle cap in those early weeks and it cleared quickly. When he was about 6 weeks old, I started using extra virgin coconut oil daily and that’s what we’ve used to date. 

His hair was lovely and soft but soon we graduated to bigger combs as it started to grow thicker and longer. It was however easy to maintain so there was no issue for me and we had no desire to cut it. 

He was 16 months old when he had his first trim. One day, he just had a patch where the hair was shorter near the back. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. (My mum was convinced it had be cut at nursery, lol.) Because of this, we evened it out. 

After the first trim

His hair grew back and I had forgotten that we had ever cut it. As he got older, he become less willing for me to comb it. The only time he would allow me was while he was in the bath and it was wet. So I washed and detangled daily, towel dried and left the rest to air dry. If I missed a day, his hair would not be as fluffy and as even as it usually is. It was on these days that I thought it would be easier if it were shorter. 

The constant comments and my struggle to comb it just wore me down. Papa Nate was not on board with the hair cut at all. But he said I wore him down into agreeing. 

After his first trip to the barbershop, a shape up was out of the question as this little man would not hold still

The actual process to cut his hair was very traumatic for me. And for Nate. So much so that he wouldn’t look at his dad afterwards or let him touch or carry him. He also didn’t look in the mirror. All this just made me really sad. At home, he was back to his usual self and was talking and playing. But when I looked up, it didn’t look like my son. His hair was a big part of his identity but in the words of India Arie, he is not his hair. He’s still got the same cheeky smile and is the same little man that I love beyond words. As I was lying in bed yesterday, he came in shouting “mummy, mummy, mummy”. When I answered, he looked me in my face and asked “are you ok?”. I couldn’t help but smile and realise that the answer is yes. I’m slowing getting used to it now. 

If anyone is thinking about taking any drastic hair related steps, stop and ask yourself if you’re really ready. Talk to someone beforehand and  proceed if you’re sure. It may be preferable to cut gradually so you’re not going from one extreme to the other. (Wise words from my sister (who deals with hair loss and is a hair replacement specialist), after the fact. Oh well, it’s done now and his hair will grow again in time.)

Thanks for stopping by. 

Mama Nate

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About MamaNate

I'm a London based mother of one. I'm also a wife, daughter, sister and friend. This blog is about how I juggle my different roles.

5 comments:

  1. Awwwwww noooo!!! Such a change. I cried when my son got his hair cut as well. Didn’t realise I was really attached to that look lol! Nate is as handsome as ever though. God bless! x

  2. Aww mummy *hugs* makes him look a bit older but his hair will grow again don’t worry… I had to cut my daughter’s hair at 4months cos I couldnt handle it (huge relief) but it’s since grown into a strong mane ????

  3. I really didn’t want to click the link to read this post. Not Nate’s hair!!! all that beautiful hair!! ok, let me stop being dramatic. I totally understand your frustration with the constant battle of combing hair and my son’s hair wasn’t even close to what Nate had. The first chop we did was at 9 months and it took me a while to get used to his new look. I totally understand, so this second time I told Hubby “No gorimapa” style.
    Nate is so handsome either way & it is okay to cry mama! ????????

  4. I’m crying with you! I LOVED HIS HAIR!!! But as all things I understand, so I’ll try to get past it… lol! Jokes aside though, he looks as charming as every without his fro, more matured, bless him! It’s funny the things we become attached to with our kids at times! x

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